Today was a strange day.

I had a meeting with my current employer regarding a job for a friend of his, and conversation wandered to my role, my future and my needs. It turns out I am worth more than I thought I was.

Nice to know.

The afternoon was filled with real estate photography, tagging along with an experienced team trying out their processes, some of their gear, including a drone, and generally learning and sharing some ideas.

To be completely honest, the whole thing left me cold and is obviously bothering me as it’s 3:40am here.

It took me a while to work out why, but I resisted the process from the get-go. To be clear here, I have embraced change in my current role, taking on video, new programmes and processes, but something about this took me straight back to my old job in the camera shop. A job I found my self resisting more and more.

The primary stake holder insisted on using a tripod for accurate framing and edge straightness. Good advice. The sort of advice I would give and did for 20+ years. There is also the valid consideration of customer perceptions. I even had the same tripod they were using in my car boot.

I resisted and continued hand holding because nothing I was doing fell into my current “zone of fear”, although I was a little sloppy, taking half considered snaps, not realising that my images were going to be used as “live” ones.

Flash was used by the photographer I shadowed, mostly to make up for the short comings of their Canon 17-40L and the usual SLR realities (how quickly these have become “old school”). A great old lens but a good example of a film era “pro” lens, one that would pass muster to the eye with decent contrast and colour, but falls short these days of high res screen critique. I had four of the same YN560 flash units in my car boot.

I resisted again, relying on the better quality of my 8-18 Leica and C1 processing. This proved to be enough.

There was also a push for bracketing (with flash), to allow the off-site processors (based in India?), to do their magic. The EM1x can do this easily enough in a single capture, even hand held.

I resisted, continuing to shoot single RAW files within histogram indicated limits and processing with C1, which gave me all the brilliance, dynamic range and detail I need.

Then there was the drone. I have no issue with them, possibly even getting one myself soon, but there is a push for me to be the pilot of one, where others have resisted. Not sure why. It actually looked like fun if not that compelling.

I am resisting, realising that I would basically be specialising in a few areas of little interest like returning to Photoshop processing, Drone piloting, going back to old habits of rigid SLR landscape photographer, working for a selling based business, all that I have little interest in, just to earn minimum wage.

I am resisting!

Why did I not just do what the others did?

I am pretty sure that the whole process could be done quicker and more efficiently my way, especially with processing that could concievably be done on the spot and finalised in the same time the shoot alone took. From a value to agent perspectie, does using more gear slower, with a heightened deception of complication and slow processing pathways make more sense than much the same result faster?

“Know thy self” comes very much to mind and “read the signs”, but so does “belligerent old bastard”.

Is it wrong at my age, which is old enough to know what I like, but young enough to still have to think to my future path, to turn down an opportunity to do a little work in a field adjacent to what I like, but one I really dislike, to help keep the job I like? Should I take the hint from my current and prospective employers and back myself, sticking to the job I love and seek more of the same?

To be honest I would just as happy doing ten hours a week in a shop.

Give me people, movement and purpose or don’t bother.

My future has to include a better income and more security and both of these paths could lead that way, but I expect some friction in the near future if I try to juggle both and I will certainly bias towards my current employer.

Life is better when there is balance. Taking on new things is also important, but retaining balance is the key.

I have seen many people for example take promotions, only to find their job is no longer what they enjoy or are good at. What they lost, they gave away, often unable to see the solution or feel it is a retrograde step.

As you get older you realise that you can easily pass your point of maximum happiness without realising it. It is not a lack of ambition, because isn’t ambition to find happiness?

Be careful what you wish for.