I remember several specific times in my photographic life when something changed, sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

One time I tend to see as a negative, but really it is just a time, not good or bad, was the very last edition of Camera and Darkroom magazine.

It snuck up on me and I think also the makers of the publication as a whole, because the magazine is normal, even publishing parts of an ongoing series and I only remember which edition it was, short of going through the whole of my collection and proving it, because of the black cover, something that may have been a last minute rebellion to the decision.

The new owners of the publication, decided there was no need for it in their portfolio, so one minute a healthy and functioning organism, the next, gone, but not forgotten*.

I think there may have been a little note in the shrink wrap, possibly a notification through the supplier, but either way, the end was here and it was a little sobering.

The articles were the usual. Good writing, in-depth stuff with an educated eye. The one that rankled, was the first of a two part article about the inability to focus properly with modern enlarger devices and proof of such.

This was by Ctein a recognised master printer, so no small thing. Being unfinished, I did think it may have been a cruel joke, but the reality is it was as innocent as all the rest. I was drifting away from darkroom work anyway, so the timing was irrelevant.

The cover image “Lella, Bretagne 1947” is haunting and a favourite, soured a little by its use as deliverer of bad news, but stunning none the less. I find the near perfect rendering of the woman in the background even more compelling than the main subject and what a revelation in this era of dramatic sharp-soft transitions.

Times change and things come and go, but I think I was always a little disappointed the publication, always my favourite, just went. It actually changed the hold these had on me, a slight shifting of loyalties from “monthly words from on high” to a more coffee table art or technical book dynamic.

I guess maybe because individual publications are complete in their own right, not at the whim of long term support. I have always been suspicious of relying on anything long term, a product of mixed, but decent upbringing, but some thing I did hold onto.

This seems to have manifested itself into an obsessive need to collect something when I commit to it, just in case (of what?), something I am aware off, but still prefer to do than not.

*They still sell for a decent amount on eBay and there looks to be a Facebook page CameraanddarkroomRenn, by Tom Harrop the original creator.