First world whinge here, so bare with or turn away now.

The last three years, the COVID years, were actually three of my favourite annuals in my working life.

I worked flexibly and happily for the school, was appreciated, felt like part of the family and grew into the space with enthusiasm. Unfortunately, it did not pay much nor consistently, but to be done well (as far as I was concerned), it needed a full committment, curtailing my ability to earn in other ways. I would often get three small jobs a day, sometimes with only a day or two’s notice, so planning ahead was not really an option.

Add to this, the entire burden of expenses, long term security and upkeep fell to me, and financially I was probably better off unemployed.

My bad I guess as I came to the school straight from a camera shop, so had no client base formed. When it was active it was all pervading, when not (3 months a year), it was a void for earnings and even contact, but continued to be a financial drain with software subscriptions, insurance and licensing.

I pushed for a small increase in both security and income, in return promising a disproportionately large increase in content creation and involvement, but to no avail. The school is a not-for-profit and has limited options, so their wheel keeps spinning, spitting out well meaning photographers as it goes. Shame.

I accepted two days a week at the local paper in an attempt to make the whole thing viable.

A respected and ancient institution, it paid at the other end of the scale, including transport, a decent computer and even gear (two of which I do not use). This shared arrangement may have worked to a point, but we never find out, as I was offered, actually pressured to accept full time when another tog left, breaking the connection to the school.

There are good things, such as a heightened awareness of social issues, contacts and decent income for my future, but there is also a massive feeling now of living a single dimensional, lop sided life.

To address this, I have signed up to a couple of charities and social organisation’s as a volunteer photographer, videographer and general helper. Balance feels restored, when it actually happens.

Ther problem is, when I went up to full time, the “machine” gobbled me up in a single day, with, in all fairness, a fair amount of flexibility to accommodate my commitment to the school over their final term (as promised). Working effectively two jobs was not much fun, even worse than doing just one I have mixed feelings about.

In reverse, three months have elapsed since I requested a dispensation and I am fed up. It is odd that if I quit, this would all have been behind me months ago, but partially quitting is taking forever.

Rant over.

Looking on the bright side.

Working for the school was lovely, a bit too “idilic”, as a private school environment can be sheltered and naive. I had committed fully, much to my own detriment, but really, they are lucky kids, they do not need me.

Being out in the real world has been good for me, opening my eyes and in hindsight, my current dynamic of part time work with the paper and part time self motivated volunteering with the Migrant Resource Centre among others is a better balance.

I did a single job for the MRC the other day, a Bollywood dance afternoon all comers welcome and it was cathartic, life affirming. I have made the right move spiritually and personally, now I just need the paper to sort things.

Another cool thing is, they look like they will actually use all the gear and skills the paper won’t, so a perfect balance in that regard also.