A few years to go I meet my half way point between my film years and my digital years.
I often think of my film years as my ‘dark” years. I shot a lot, but not many images were shared, lots of money was spent on feeding a constant need for film, gear not as important and some went into the darkroom for relatively little return.
I do not miss film.
I can alive with digital. I could shoot for free, experiment, revisit old work with a fresh processing eye, share, grow and learn. My film experience gave me an edge of a while, a better technical grounding, but that was all.
I sometimes get nostalgic for the “old days”, specifically the 1980-90’s a time when cameras were either cool and mechanically reliable or starting to get advanced and convenient, if then slaves to expensive replaceable batteries.
I am nostalgic I think, more for the time, not the processes and certainly not the results. I was young impressionable, excited about the world and photography was my gateway to it. If it came in another form, I would have used that form.
A perfect combination for me would be digital processes with pre 2000’s film era sensibilities. Ironically, this is the vibe young practitioners of film are also chasing.
I am happy I once knew how to use it, I still use the lessons learned every day. I can still load a mechanical film camera instinctively even exotic ones, I always check a body by habit before opening it, I love that new film smell, but no, I do not miss it and I certainly do not feel it can do something I cannot access now.
I am also aware that I have knowledge locked away in my old brain that will be lost one day, things like secret formulas I, or others used (one friend won several international salons with mono images developed in paper developer) and I also know that in real terms that does not matter now, like knowing the secret of an old otter cycle, the object of obsession is now too rare to matter.
Film has now become a tool for artists, who by their nature are not super technical in the purest sense, tending to create their own reality, it’s called art.
I do miss black and white film………. not. This was a colour digital snap, with “mono memory” applied. Glad I remember what film used to look like, but after years of trying to perfect my technique, it is often not what you see today. We increased sharpness, decreased grain, pushed our tones, but usually not too far. The file above would have been a good result from a medium format camera, so getting it from a beaten up old EM1 Mk2 was a win also.
My last clutch of film cameras, many accumulated in the late 2000’s when film cameras could not be given away, were either traded, sold or gifted when the trend took off again (2015 or so). More irony came when I spent the money from one bunch on a digital printer.
My only regret in hind sight is knowing I have had at one point or another, basically every old film era classic lens that videographers are lusting after now. Many Canon FD’s and EF, some Olympus OM, some Nikon AI-s, even Pentax PK, medium format and screw mount classics.
My darkroom gear, lovingly accumulated over decades, all went one day to a work colleague and the only time I miss it is when I meet someone I would have rather given it to.
Film in these parts is limited, I live on an island state with a population of under half a million spread over four small cities. I live in the second biggest, a large town by most measures, so yes, I do have a local lab, but it is limited and we only have one. that handles film. Otherwise things have to go to Hobart or interstate.
This makes film a fragile and limited commodity, something that to be honest, has not been worth the effort for me for nearly two decades.
There was a nobility to be found in anything, film photography is no different, but it is important to differentiate the nobility of process and it’s processes. Shooting film is not a licence to be better, it is a choice to make life harder for yourself with the assumption that it will elevate your results.
This may not always be the case.
I get it, every camera, lens, practitioner, process has its look, but before you worship on the emulsion altar, ask yourself if the process makes as much difference as it needs to.
There are many large format shooters that do have an edge in their results, but they were extreme even in the film past.
There is always a temptation to abuse digital conveniences, but there is also always another option. Being considered, slowing down, being precise should not need film to force it, it should be a choice.
Try this if you want to be more “considered”.
Find/buy/steal a 2gb card and shoot on it for two weeks. As you shoot do all the work up front, resist the desire to “chimp” and adjust your files (tape some card over your screen even). Shoot and move on.
It works, it feels like shooting film, it just avoids the down sides.
My Pen F has a textured back to its flip screen, designed to make the camera look like it does not have a screen (if you want) and it allows you to apply very filmic mono pre-sets, but I prefer to use a RAW file as a base.
It also has a very early implementation of high res mode, meaning you have to be careful and selective on the day, so like using slow film, you have to work with the world, not against it and sometimes, you just have to be patient.
This might also be of interest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFCJ51K-7Zs